Parenting Strategies to Support School Engagement

Students typically report a higher level of school engagement and motivation when they experience routine, consistency and predictability in their home. The switch to an eLearning or even hybrid education model in response to the pandemic has certainly presented challenges to this. While parents have dedicated themselves to navigating this change as successfully as possible, many are finding this process challenging and even overwhelming.

With that in mind, and as we prepare to enter the second half of a school year that has been filled with so much uncertainty, I wanted to provide some helpful tips for parents to continue supporting their children and teens.

SOME HELPFUL TIPS

A.  IN-PERSON and Virtual LEARNING: Ensure that your child understands the expectations around school attendance and work completion.

B.  Create a realistic plan outlining key expectations and privileges. Attempt to focus on expectations for school engagement, hygiene, and household responsibilities.

C. Discuss the privileges earned for meeting expectations, trying not to allow the child to have access to the privileges if expectations are not being met. This can be challenging for many parents, especially if the child is struggling emotionally, however the consistency will in fact help support the child.

D.  Try to identify obstacles to setting and following through with expectations. For some parents its fear, guilt or concern that the child may become combative in the home environment, especially regarding limits around electronic use. If this is the case, seek additional support. Try to avoid power struggling and becoming reactive or aggressive, but rather take breaks and reassess plan if necessary.

IF YOUR CHILD IS STRUGGLING ENGAGING IN E-LEARNING

1.   Encourage the child to brainstorm solutions for engagement, such as a standing desk (I have used an ironing board ), workstation outside of bedroom, etc. Your child may say ‘I do not care about school’. Avoid power struggles, simply remind child about choices and expectations. Sometimes, creating a fun workstation that minimizes distractions may help!

2.   See if the social worker or school personnel can connect with your child virtually or in the building to help the child build connections.  

3.   Review healthy coping strategies for stress.

4.   Celebrate your child’s successes with time with one or both parents in an enjoyable activity, favorite dinner, extra electronic time!!!! 

5.   Help by eliminating distractions in the child’s bedroom that could prevent your child or teen from school engagement or getting enough sleep including having a tv in the room, video games etc.

6.   Review expectations the day before returning to school, especially following a weekend or break from school.

7.   Keep the lines of communication open, having conversations with your child when you and the child are calm. Try asking some questions, but also listening to your child’s thoughts and feelings. 

8.   Communicate with your school if there are school concerns.

9.   Seek supports from your child’s school, pediatrician, local counseling agency or hospital program. Contact your school student service office for a full list of resources.

10. Try to stay calm as challenging as this can be!

Keep in mind that it will take a few weeks of consistency to see a noticeable shift in your child’s behaviors, with the goal leading to school engagement. It will also be important to partner with the child’s school staff to provide support for your child, as well as receive support for yourself. 

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Masters in Parenting Podcast Feature

How to Help your Child Cope with School Anxiety 

Talking with Jacqueline Rhew of AMITA Health, we discuss the causes of school anxiety and how to help your kids through their worries and fears. Check out Rhew's Successful Parenting, a guide to building strong families. 

Masters in Parenting is a podcast presented by Chicago Parent. You can also listen to the podcast on Spotify.

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How to Protect Your Kids from Gaming Disorder

Video game addiction has been in the news lately, due to the World Health Organization (WHO) recently adding “gaming disorder” to its international classification of diseases. Gaming disorder is also a “condition for further study” for inclusion in the American Psychiatric Association’s next diagnostic and statistical manual (DSM), according to Dr. Cecelia Horan, director of child and adolescent services at AMITA Health Alexian Brothers Behavioral Health Hospital Hoffman Estates.

For many parents, this news has simply attached a name to a long-standing concern: are video games detrimental to a child’s social and emotional development? How much gameplay is too much? If you share these concerns, here is what you need to know about gaming disorder and how to make video games part of a healthy, balanced lifestyle.

What Is Gaming Disorder?

In order for gaming disorder to be diagnosed, it must significantly impair aspects of life such as family, social or educational areas for at least 12 months. Prior to its WHO classification, many of the diagnostic criteria for substance use disorder were generalized to accommodate symptoms of gaming addiction. Both disorders cause the brain to produce dopamine in a similar way, which in turn produces the sensation of pleasure or euphoria that fuels the addictive behavior.

Who Is at Risk?

Although any age group and demographic is at risk of gaming disorder, kids can be especially susceptible, since many are first exposed to electronics with game capabilities at an impressionable age. 

Striking a Healthy Balance

Video games are not inherently bad for a child’s health; they can provide a social outlet where children create bonds that bloom into friendships. That said, games should be played in moderation and balanced with physical exercise, face-to-face social activities and creative, unstructured play. Here are some recommendations for how parents can help their children achieve that healthy balance:

• Learn about the games your child wants to play: The term “video games” encompasses everything from Super Mario Brothers and Candy Crush to violent survival games such as Fortnite. Vet games in advance by watching playthroughs of it on YouTube. This will help you determine if it is appropriate for your child.
• Enforce time limits : Work with your children to set daily time limits for gameplay and teach them how to work within those limits. That way, they can plan ahead rather than get upset when they have to stop mid-game.
• Create a bridge between the game and real life: Talk to your children about the skills required to progress through the game (i.e., problem-solving, lateral thinking, quick reflexes, exploration, creativity, etc.) and how they can apply those skills to everyday situations.
• Teach your kids about online safety: If your child is playing an online game, they will likely be exposed to offensive language, trash talk and verbal abuse from other players at some point. Rather than shield them from this ugly inevitability, treat it as a learning opportunity. Teach them how to manage those situations effectively (i.e., muting/disconnecting the audio, reporting abuse to the game’s moderators, not sharing personal information with strangers, etc.).